Sofia Osorio
For as long as I can remember, I have never felt that my movements were my own. Sometimes, my arms lift, my legs bend, and my body turns, but not by my will. It has always been the strings (sometimes invisible, but always there) that dictate where I go, what I say, and how I act; but what can I do? I am just a puppet, and not just a physical puppet, from the deepest part of my existence, I am doll controlled by others.
Almost EVERY day in my life, I have been manipulated by others, such as my friends, my family even my teachers, but I do not realize it. That is where the invisible manipulation enters; a type of manipulation where we do not know we are being manipulated but we do what others say, this is represented by my mask on my eyes, this is the type of thing that differentiates me from others. I do not know when I am being controlled by my social circle, and the tape in my mouth means that even if I know I am being trapped in this social issue, I will stay quiet because I am to scared about what others think about me, and even worst, I don’t know how to escape from myself.
This control has left me with a deep sense of emptiness, it is as if I had no right to my own voice. Instead of a free being, I became a reflection of others’ expectations and desires, but, every time I try to cut those strings, to free myself from the weight of others’ words, I face another obstacle: fear. The puppet that I am, has become so dependent on those strings that the thought of being without them is terrifying. What happens if, when I cut the cords, I fall and don’t know how to stand on my own? Am I too vulnerable? Why can’t I be me? Am I doing it right if I just keep quiet and let people do whatever they want to me?
I am tired of this constant question I ask myself. Now that I am aware of how easily we let external influences shape our lives, I won´t let this happen to anyone. I will raise my voice, take off my mask and rip the tape from my mouth and scream, I am the only one in the world who can decide for me, I do not need others to take decisions for me and that’s it. I want to inspire others to feel safe speaking out, expressing themselves freely. Being accepted by a social group shouldn’t mean becoming someone you’re not. Don’t do things just to make others happy. Be yourself, and if people don’t like the real you, that’s their problem, not yours.